Happy Anniversary!

Today marks the one-year anniversary of the opening of Bethany House, the day after 2011’s one and only snowstorm (in October!).  As coincidences go, today is also the day after Hurricane Sandy swept through.  I am grateful to report that we are safe and sound – we lost power for a few minutes last night but Trenton’s electric grid is remarkably steady and I’m typing this blog post when millions of people in our region have no electricity.  I appreciate how fortunate we are.

It’s both easy and hard to believe that we’ve had a full year of life at Bethany House.  It’s easy because so much has happened – the Founding Members moved in when the house was not totally renovated and the Bethany House Community Garden was still in the planning (or pre-planning?) stages, and ended their term with a fully finished house and fresh produce from eight raised beds in the backyard (now we have four more beds plus six planters!).  Through those months we were blessed by our many friends and supporters, as we shared meals and communed in Vespers services.  The residents also helped each other through some difficult personal issues; being in community made a huge difference during those times.

At the same time, it’s hard to believe that a year has passed because the days and weeks and months went by so quickly.  Was it a year ago that we stood in the kitchen (we didn’t have a kitchen table or chairs yet) and had a long talk as we organized the cabinets and put dishes away?  Was it eleven months ago that we had our Open House?  It was, but it feels like yesterday.  I continue to be excited by what God is doing here and hope that you will join us (in person or on-line) for the second year of Bethany House.

To the Former Residents, and saying bye to Erin

Yesterday was our final vespers with Erin present, which invoked mixed feelings and a train of thoughts which I would like to share.

Erin has been a beautiful and necessary asset to the community in the Bethany House. She was there to welcome each of us, the new residents, and to ensure that we were comfortable with everything we needed in our new home. She even did so, for me, while she was getting over a bout of strep throat. She was there to show us how to rotate the chores and how to take care of the garden. She was the first one at the Bethany house and she, together with Amy, the other former residents, and Pastor Karen and Jacque, spent an entire year trying to figure out the best and most harmonious way to live in intentional community. There are many complications that arise when working to establish a communal environment, and many nuts and bolts that need to be straightened. She and Amy, as well as the former residents, worked through trial and error to figure out how best to live in community. Because of what they went through they have given us the tools to start this intentional community off strong and have helped create a stronger more conducive environment for fostering community. Because of their legacy they have enabled us to embark on a path towards closer bonds, harmony and an ever strengthening community.

When I think of community and the way that community is being exemplified in the Bethany House, I often think of a verse taken from 1 Corinthians 12.

 ^“Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body…Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.  And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.  If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.  If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it,  so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”

In my mind, such is how it is with us in the Bethany House. Each part, or each person (even the former residents), is different but comes with gifts and personality that is absolutely necessary to the enrichment and healthy workings of this community. Additionally, the beauty of this community is that when one person or member is suffering, we all show concern and try to be there to support that person. We’re all in this together, and we’re all here for each other, always.

Mother Teresa also says it well when she states that “What I am doing you cannot do, what you are doing I cannot do, but together we are doing something beautiful for God.” We can not comfortably change ourselves to be someone else or to do what someone else is doing, but the beauty of this community is that we can work together, build off each others diverse strengths, grow in love and, as a result, hopefully reach out in beautiful ways to the larger community around us.

Even though Erin and the former residents are not physically present in the house, they’ll always be one of us and they’ll always have a place to belong with us. Without the gifts and strengths each member of this house has brought, this community would not be what it is today.

We’ll always work to remember the contributions and sacrifices you have made for the good of this community.

Once a Bethany House of Hospitality resident, always a Bethany House resident.

Our First Vespers

Yesterday marked our (the new residents) very first Vespers shared with Nassau Presbyterian Church. It was so wonderful to finally meet and share a meal with some of the people who had a hand in making the Bethany House of Hospitality available to us and we are so grateful for the food that was brought.

A few quotes and a meditation was shared which, after a crazy day, I was very grateful for because I could  seek out solace and peace of mind with others doing the same thing.

One of my favorite quotes was shared with us by Eileen, a Westminster Presbyterian Church member, when she quoted one of her favorite songs. The ending of the quote referred to belonging in humanity, which I believe is a basic need that all humans need a sense of and it was great to be reminded of the simple things that bring that feeling about.

Vespers is wonderful because it invites people into our home where we can have a meal shared with us while we share the love and community we are finding in each other, as well as where we can all grow in community together.  Thanks to all who came out to share and partake with us yesterday!

Community Living

“The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty — it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There’s a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God.”
–Mother Teresa, A Simple Path

I believe that there is an epidemic of loneliness in many parts of the United States. There are so many people who have no one to come home to, no one to ask about their day, no one to greet them in the morning, and no one to acknowledge their existence with a smile or casual greeting during the day. Each of these small occurrences contribute to everyone’s basic need to feel like they belong somewhere. Usually this  need is filled by the presence of a family system where deep intimate and lasting connections are made. One of the problems in this day and age is that many people move away from their families in pursuit of “upward mobility,” further education or a better job. Another problem is that people are so busy, and often prioritize the busyness over taking time to be with others. People work so hard, but at the end of the day feel so lonely and sad because even if they give their entire being to their work, accomplishing great things apart from people cannot help them feel like they belong and cannot fill them with the sustaining love that comes from sharing love with another person.

Just a little less than a year ago I was a lonely one. Though I did live with others, I would come home and no one would look up from their homework, computers or electronic devices long enough to say a greeting. In the morning there was no one to say good morning to (though I would still say it out loud to my empty room). Walking down the pathway of my college campus was even lonelier. Though I walked by many people that I knew, we both would pretend to be distracted by a tree or building we were walking by so that we could pretend we didn’t notice the other person. I tried to get involved in a church community but never really felt welcomed or loved for who I was. I also used to fill my life and time with school and three dead end jobs. The busyness kept me from realizing or acknowledging the fact that I was so lonely and if I had any down time I would try to fill it with more busyness (because if I had any time to myself I would realize how lonely I was).

It wasn’t until I experienced community life in Uganda that I finally realized the love, belonging, healing, and wholeness that is found in community. I would come home and there were people to welcome me. There was always people to share food with and to simply be with. After running around trying to get all of my “stuff” done and prioritizing the things I thought I had to do, experiencing what it was like to live with the mindset that nothing is more important than each other really brought peace, love and a sense of belonging into my life.

The community I tasted in Uganda I am beginning to experience to an even greater degree at the Bethany House of Hospitality. Already in this house we are forming close bonds with each other through deep unintentional and intentional conversations and bonding activities, as well as through sharing meals and late nights together.  Mornings are my favorite now because, as we all have similar schedules, we’re all around to say good morning to each other. Additionally, at the end of the day there is always someone to come home to who cares enough to check in with how the day went. Even more than this, the  beauty of living in the Bethany House is made greater in its diversity. Because each of us in the house is incredibly different, with different backgrounds (both religious and cultural) and different views, this diversity adds to the richness of the community, conversation and especially to personal growth.

I believe that the existence of the Bethany House of Hospitality and other houses like it is one small step that, if successful, could grow and bring healing, peace, love and belonging into the lives of so many Americans.

Oh the things you’ll cook…

One of the benefits of having a beautiful community garden in your backyard is that it provides a plethora of inspiration in terms of cooking. Here are a few things I’ve tried:

Here is my first attempt: Rice and beans cooked with fresh tomato, onion, and swiss chard. Spinach on the side

Spaghetti and sauce with eggplant, spinach and cranberries on the side!

Corn chowder with fresh bread and cheese 🙂 one of my favorites

attempt to make my own pasta sauce! All fresh garden vegetables, onion, swiss chard, garlic, and peppers

Homemade banana oatmeal cookies.

Bean pot pie topped with wheat biscuits

It is true what Jacques Gusteau says in Ratatouille…anyone can cook!

Thanks to all who contributed to everything that is available to us from the Bethany Community garden…having the vegetables and herbs so fresh, organic, and easily available has been an incredible blessing to all of us 🙂

How I came to the Bethany House

I recently graduated from the Roberts Wesleyan College Teacher Education program last May. After graduation I realized that I had lost a sense of purpose. For sixteen years of my life I had been told where to go next and followed the directions of those in authority over me. I had slightly more choice where to go when I chose my college, but there was little choice in my mind of whether or not I should go to college. Thus I always knew where I would be the next year, and always had a ‘goal,’ (which at the time seemed meaningful), that I was working towards.

After graduation I started struggling with the idea that all the work I had put into academics for sixteen years was meaningless, and all those tales I was told about the reward at the end were fictional. With this loss of purpose came a frenzy to gain a real sense of purpose. According to the path I had been manufactured to follow, the next step was to get a job. Thus started the job search. I was frantically applying for at least five jobs a day, without really knowing what it was that I wanted in life. After struggling to bring my mind to the believe that I want to work in schools I realized that I did not feel any peace in a position that would put me in a rigid school setting day after day. Once I realized this I lost motivation to apply for any job at all, nearly lost hope altogether, and greatly struggled with the meaning of life.

One of the main things that bothered me in all this was the feeling that I knew I had skills and a mindset that could be used to bring joy to others and yet had no opportunity. In addition, after experiencing community in Uganda and camp community in the US, and after seeing what it meant to be truly happy in a commune focused on serving others,  all I wanted to do was either continue living in this way or give up altogether. I was disheartened with the lack of community I perceived in the US and didn’t think that a community, like the one I experience at camp and in Uganda, even existed in “real life” anymore.

Thus, I went to serve my third and final year at Vanderkamp Center in a mental state of discouragement and hopelessness, still struggling with purpose and wondering where to go in life. I spoke to my camp director, James Davis, and his mother, Debbie Davis about about my desire for service and community, about the seeming lack of opportunity, and about the detriment that my student loans pose. After only a few weeks James and Debbie Davis introduced me to the opportunity to serve with Americorps at Get SET while living at the Bethany House of Hospitality. (The beautiful opportunity that Americorps provides is that it includes a stipend, an education award, and loan forbearance.) At the time I did not know much about the opportunity but was so desperate for anything that I applied as quickly as I had heard about the availability. It was not until after I had been accepted that I began to realize that what I found was actually what I was yearning for–communal and diverse living in the service of others.

Words cannot describe how grateful I am for this opportunity or the joy that I have found already in the three short weeks of being here. I hope to explain more about how I feel about community as well as the hope for positive change in the US that I’ve found at the Bethany House in future blog posts.

Though my story is just one, there are many college graduates who feel the same as I did post-graduation. I have seen many of my peers working so hard up to the point of graduation, with few prospects and few things to work for after. Professional employment after college is not a guarantee anymore. More and more college graduates are settling for jobs that do not inspire them or fill them with joy, and that do not require degrees, mainly because of the necessity to meet loan payments. Many more are looking for more schooling because, after sixteen years in a school setting, life without the direction that school provides is foreign, scary, and hopeless. Thus having  community and opportunities for service is the exact thing that can rescue people of my generation from a lack of purpose, hopelessness, despair, and greater college debt.

Thank you